Thursday, October 30, 2008

New freebies & a warning - bad jokes ahead! LOL

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Ok I have to share some of these funnies that I received in an email today! LOL
Please keep in mind that I am not trying to offend anyone, so I am sorry if they offend you. My kids thought they were pretty funny. I'm just going to copy and paste all of them here.

Warning!! Some of these jokes are very 'bat' some might even say it is 'scary'.

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
Q. What is a Mummie's favorite type of music? A. Wrap!!!!!
Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q. What's a monster's favorite bean? A. A human bean.
Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.
Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Q. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck.
Q. What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A.Ghoul
Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos.
Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.
Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn't have a haunting license.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.
Q. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria.
Q. Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line.
Q. Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat. A. Because of the coffin.
Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin.
Q. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A. A toasty ghosty.
Q. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A. He heard it had great circulation.
Q. What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae? A. Whipped scream.
Q. What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets? A. Dead ends
Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving
Q. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A. Mas-scare-a.
Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop.
Q. What happens when two vampires meet? A. love at first bite!
Q. Who was the most famous ghost detective? A. Sherlock Moans.
Q. What do you call two spiders that just got married? A. Newlywebbed
Q. What is a ghosts favorite place on the web? A.!
Q. Who was the most famous witch detective? A. Warlock Holmes
Q. What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop? A. Scream or sugar!
Q. Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A. Sherlock Bones.
Q. Who was the most famous French skeleton? A. Napoleon bone-apart
Q. Which building does Dracula visit in New York? A. The Vampire State Building.
Q. Where do most werewolves live? A. In howllywood, California
Q. Where do most goblins live? A. in North and South Scarolina.
Q. Where does a ghost refuel his porche? A. At a ghastly station.
Q. What do Italian's eat on Halloween? A. Fettucinni Afraid-o
Q. Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? A. to see the boogy man.
Q. What do witches use in their hair? A. scare-spray
Q. What do you call a little monsters parents A. mummy and deady
Q. What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A. sour-puss
Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? A. blood-thirsty hacker baby
Q. Why do ghosts shiver and moan? A. It's drafty under that sheet.
Q. What instrument do skeleton play? A: Trom-BONE.
Q. What do ghosts eat for breakfast? A. Boo-Berries.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He had no guts.
Q. Why do vampires scare people? A. They are bored to death!
Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat.
Q. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It's a pain in the neck.
Q. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? A. All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
Q. What songs does Dracula hate? A. 'You Are My Sunshine' and 'Sunshine on my Shoulders'.
Q. What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done? A. Ok, that's a wrap.
Q. How does a girl vampire flirt? A. She bats her eyes.
Q. What is a vampires least favorite food? A. Steak
Q. What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A. A grave problem.
Q. Why doesn't anybody like Dracula? A. He has a bat temper.
Q. Why did Dracula go to the dentist? A. He had a fang-ache.
Q. Why are vampires like false teeth? A. They all come out at night.
Q. Who does Dracula get letters from? A. His fang club.
Q. What kind of key does a skeleton use? A. A skeleton key.
Q. What kind of gum do ghosts chew? A. Boo Boo Gum.
Q. Why did Dracula take cold medicine? A. To stop his coffin.
Q. Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes? A. Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.
Q. How do you keep a monster from biting his nails? A. Give him screws.
Q. What can't you give the headless horseman? A. A headache.
Q. Why did the headless horseman go into business? A. He wanted to get ahead in life.
Q. What is a ghosts favorite sale? A. A white sale.
Q. What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party? A. A boo-tie.
Q. What's a ghosts favorite desert? A. Boo-berry pie.
Q. What type of dog does every vampire have? A. Bloodhound!
Q. What's a monsters favorite desert? A. I-Scream!!
Q. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? A. So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Q. When does a ghost have breakfast? A. In the moaning.
Q. What do ghosts drink at breakfast? A. Coffee with scream and sugar.
Q. Where does a ghost go on vacation? A. Mali-boo.
Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Q. Where did the ghost get it's hair done? A: At the boo-ty shop.
Q. Riddle: the maker does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it? A. a coffin.
Q. What do they teach in witching school? A. Spelling.
Q. Why does a witch ride a broom? A. Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
Q. What do you call a witch's garage? A. A broom closet.
Q. What do you call two witches living together? A. Broommates.
Q. Why don't mummies take vacations? A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Q. What is a witch's favorite subject in school? A. Spelling
Q: Why can't Boy Ghosts make babies?? A: Because they have Hollow-Weenies!
Q. Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street? A. He was dying to get to the other side!!
Q. What did the mother ghost say to her kids in the car? A. Fasten your sheet belts.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie? A. He didn't have the guts.
Q. What did the corpse' mom do when her son was bad? A. Ground him
Q. Why was the mummy so tense? A. Because he was all wound up.
Q. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A. Because he had bat breath.
Q. Why don't ghost have bands? A. They get booooooooooed.
Q. What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes? A. A cereal killer.
Q. Who are some of the werewolves cousins? A. The whatwolves, the whowolves and the when wolves.
Q. What did the bird say on Halloween? A. Trick or tweet!
Q. Why do skeletons drink milk? A. To help their bones!
Q. What's a Vampire's least favourate song? A. Another one bites the dust!
Q. What is a Skeleton's favorite song. A. Bad to the Bone
Q. Whats a ghost's favorate type of car? A. A boo-ick
Q. Where do ghost go for fun? A. To the boo-vies
Q. What's a skeletons favorite part of the house? A. the living room
Q. What did the teenage witch ask her mother on Haloween? A. Can I have the keys to the broom tonight.
Q. What do you get when theres a witch in the desert? A. You get a sandwitch.
W. Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? A. it raises their spirits.
Q. Why can't a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He's all bone & no muscle.
Q. What is a vamire's favorite fruit? A: A neck-tarine
Q. What do the skeletons say be for eating? A. Bone appetite
Q. What do gosts call there girl friends? A. There goul friends.
Q. How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So long sucker!
Q. What did the goblin say to the witch? A. I don't know you tell me!
Q. What is a ghost's favorite band? A. The Boos Brothers
Q. What did Dracula have for dessert? A. Whine & Ice scream
Q. What is Dracula's favorite restaraunt? A. Murder King
Q. What is a Ghost's favorite food? A. HamBoogers
Q. What is in a ghost's nose? A. Boogers
Q. What was the mummies' vacation like? A. Nobody knows. They were too wrapped up to tell us.
Q. What did tha boy ghost say to the girl ghost? A. You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen!
Q. Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? A. Because people are dying to get in.
Q. What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking? A. A pumpkin patch!!!
Q. Where do vampires keep their money? A. The blood bank!!!
Q. What did Dracula say after reading all these jokes? A. They suck! (or they bite!)

Ok, ok, ok! ROFL I know, some....ok most of those were bad! LOL I just couldnt help myself!
I guess I need to make up for those terrible jokes! LOL How about a few more free printable cards today?!

I will have another freebie this weekend for you, so be sure to check back!!! Stater, if you are reading this, I read the comments! ;) It will make you a happy camper, I promise!

Also, before I forget, I will be posting information this weekend about where I will be landing out here in Scrapland! Yes, I do know where I will be at, just not ready to spill the beans yet!

Friends Always - Sunshine on my Shoulder
Friends Always - Sunshine on my Shoulder

Happy Birthday - Oh My Spots
Happy Birthday - Oh My Spots

Best Wishes - Berry Perssuasion
Best Wishes - Berry Perssuasion

You're Invited - Celebrate
You're Invited - Celebrate

Download here

If you celebrate Halloween, have a FUN & SAFE Halloween!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Free printable cards & more Halloween funnies

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With all of the news about 3S, first it was closing but now it sounds like there might be new owners but it is going to stay open. I have felt like I have been in limbo all week! What a ride of roller coaster emotions!

I will be posting what is going to happen with me soon but for now how about another set of free printable cards and some more Halloween funnies?!

More Halloween Funnies

Now, for the cards that are in this set:

Hang In There - Little Sock Monkey
Hang In There - Little Sock Monkey

Get Well - Fanciful
Get Well - Fanciful

Cheer Up - Mid Summer Bright
Cheer Up - Mid Summer Bright

Encouragement - Down to Earth
Encouragement - Down to Earth

Download here

Friday, October 24, 2008

Freebie - In need of a card?


Here are 4 of the cards that I created with some of my kits for World Card Making Day this year. They are all 5x7 inches and created at 300 ppi, so they are perfect for printing!
(Download link will be at the end of this post)

Thinking of You - Classic Elegance
Thinking of You - Classic Elegance

Congratulations - Sunshine on my Shoulder
Congratulations - Sunshine on my Shoulder

Thank You - Cerulean Calm
Thank You - Cerulean Calm

Thank You - Pinkadilly
Thank You - Pinkadilly

I'll have a few more for you all later this weekend!

Download here

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

3Scrapateers is Closing - Farewell Chat

Yes, I am sure that you have heard by now that 3Scrapateers announced that they will be closing their doors on October 31st at Midnight EST. We are all feeling pretty sad about it but for the most part we are also trying to remain possitive by saying things such as "all things happen for a reason". We dont know what that reason might be right now but we are all trying to have faith even though, I think, it feels like we are all still in a little bit of shock.

We want to stay in touch with one another, so be sure to subscriber to or keep checking back here at my blog, I'll let you know where I end up finding my next digi-scrapping home. And with the permission of the others, I'd be happy to post where they go also.

After 4 wonderful years, 3S is shutting down and to CELEBRATE the members that have been such a wonderful part of our lives and have shared so many things with us, we would like to invite you to a "3S Farewell Chat". In lieu of the normal Half N Half chat on Thursday, October 30th, we will have a chat in the chat room for everyone that would like to join us and say Farewell. Start time will be at the normal 10:00PM EST. So come chat with us for one last time at 3Scrapateers and get a few freebies just for showing up! Hopefully by then we will have info as to where everyone is going to land out there in Scrapland.

Don't foget, I am currently having a HUGE sale and then starting on the 24th, the whole store will be 60% off!!! So stock up now!!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Bee Gees and CPR!

This is a public service announcement about CRP.

Every year for the last 13 years, I go to our local American Red Cross Chapter for recertification in CRP and the First Aid I go for every other year. Mainly, I do this as part of a requirement for my job as the Program Manager for a company that provides 24 hour support to adults with developmental disabilities but I would do this even if it weren’t for my job. I have had to use this valuable information on more than a few occasions and not just at work but in my regular everyday life, from a person choking, to having seizures to passing out cold and dropping to the floor, etc. Luckily, so far (knock on wood) I have not had to perform CPR on anyone but I would be able to do so if it was needed and I know that I would not hesitate to help anyone in need.

Along time ago, I was always afraid that I would not be able to keep it together well enough or long enough in an emergency situation; well I didn’t give myself enough credit, as most people don’t. I’m a take charge kind of person and usually react pretty calmly and then lose it after it’s all over. Most people are afraid to get involved in an emergency situation for a large variety of reasons but CPR can and does save lives. Most of the time people will not respond because they either have not had the training or they are afraid. Over the years I have seen the CPR techniques change to make it simpler for people to remember how to do it.

For the last few CPR classes that I have taken, the American Red Cross is teaching that you administer CPR to the beat of “Staying Alive” by the Bee Gees. Now you know that once you get that song in your head, you won’t be able to get it out! LOL Pretty much everyone knows the song too so it is a great way to remember the rhythm for CPR which is 100 beats per minute. The number of compressions has changed to 30 compressions for every rescue breath that you give. Let me tell you, it does get tiring very quickly but it can make the difference for someone either living or dying. In fact, it triples a person’s chances of survival! So I encourage you all to take a CRP/First Aid class! It is so worth it because you just never know where or when you will use it, or on who you will need to use it on. Your own child, your Mother, Father, best friend or spouse?

This was on ABC's Good Morning America. Check out the American Red Cross , sign up for a class, donate, give bloood or even volunteer!

Sing it, you know that you want to!

Have a safe weekend!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Halloween funnies, a freebie and a random drawing!

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I received these funnies in an email so I thought I would share them. I'll post the others at a later time. If any of them offend you,
I apologize ahead of time because that is not what I intended.

Halloween Funnies 1

I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to all of you that are leaving me such sweet messages and sending emails too!
It really makes my day to read your comments! Thank you for taking a minute to leave me a few words! I do read them all!
In fact, I saw a ‘hint hint’ left for me at the last Blog Wear freebie :) so I thought I'd give you something to decorate your blogs with for Trick or Treat season! I have included a simple instruction sheet on how to add the images to your Blogger Blog... but keep in mind, I am sure that there are many different ways to do it.
My instructions are just how I have learned, through trial and error and a little bit of searching the internet for a little HTML help! LOL
Now, without further ado..... onto the freebie!

Trick or Treat - Ghosts & Goblins Blog Sets

I used my Trick or Treat - Ghosts & Goblins kit to create this set of Blog Wear for you!
I hope you like them.

If you use them to decorate your blog,
leave me a link to your blog in the comment section on my blog along with your email addy!
On Halloween Day (Friday, October 31st) I will go through all of the messages and links,
check out all of the blogs and then by random drawing,
one person will win my Trick or Treat - Ghosts & Goblins kit and
one other person will win my Trick or Treat - Heroes & Fairytales kit.
I will email and post the winners names here on my blog,
so be sure to leave me your email addy and a comment!

Download here


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

* New Freebie * Cerulean Calm Page Cluster & a Chat!

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Be sure to stop by the 3Scrapateers chat room Wednesday, October 15th at 10pm EST because
I will be hosting the Scrap-A-Deal Chat for Ms Carla Ware.
I'll be handing out freebies that coordinate with Carla's new kit called Fall Harvest.
It's on sale for $2.00!

I will also be introducing the next Scrap-A-Deal kit, which is one of mine!
It's called Out of this World and will be in my store just before the chat!

Now onto the freebie!

Please note: You will need to register as a member and log in at 3Scrapateers
to be able to download this freebie but it will be worth it!There are many more freebies there!

Cerulean Calm Page Cluster

Go here to download the Cerulean Calm Page Cluster. Enjoy!!

Oh before I forget! I have another freebie for you coming up this week!
How about a little Halloween decoration for your own blog maybe!?
Check back to see what I come up with!!!!!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Happy 17th Birthday Kaytelynn - SALE!

Today my lovely and talented daughter Kaytelynn turns 17!!
To celebrate this fabulous event, everything in my store is ON SALE
from today, October 13th to October 31st!!

30% to 70% off!

Happy 17th Birthday Kaytelynn - SALE

Stock up now on some great scrap kits, alphabet sets, brag books, quick page albums and collections! The holidays are fast approaching so get those hybrid projects, altered art crafts and gifts started!

Don't forget, all of my products are Scrap 4 Hire/Scrap 4 Other friendly with no extra fees or prior approval from me.

Here is a bit of my Terms of Use:

Purchase includes a single professional use license per each individual item. This license is non-transferable (meaning that it is not extended to and may not be sold or given to any other individual or party such as manufacturers, corporations, companies, partnerships or LLC's) and is licensed only to the original purchaser.

I do ask that you purchase the product for each individual client. The product does not have to be purchased at full price and can be purchased and used even if it is on sale. By the way, I like to have sales, as I am a sale shopper myself!

Credit is always appreciated but not required, unless you post completed projects online through e-groups, bulletin boards, galleries, forums, newsgroups, or submit to magazines for possible publication, please include the product title, Kimberly Stewart and 3Scrapateers in the credits.

You may use this product in the following ways for profit. This list is not all encompassing, so if you don’t see it here, email me at and ask. Exceptions to these terms of use will be granted on a case-by-case basis, so email me if you have questions. I am pretty easy going.

You May:
· You may use these files for Personal Use and also for Limited Professional Use (e.g. scrap for hire or scrap for others)
· You may create layouts with these graphics for paying or non-paying clients. The final product you provide to a client must be in flattened form, either printed or in an electronic single-layer flattened .jpeg or the equivalent.
· You may create calendars, candy wrappers, altered/hybrid projects and many other crafts for sale with the printed form of these graphics. These graphics are designed at 300 ppi so they are excellent print quality.
· You may make one copy of this e-file solely for back-up purposes, provided that all Terms of Use, Professional Use Licenses and other proprietary documents are retained with these back-ups.
· You may use items created by me, purchased in the past, present or in the future, including freebies.
· You may modify/alter these files to suit your needs: color, size etc.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

More Little Sock Monkey Freebies!

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In case you missed my Color Challenge and the chat for the Little Sock Monkey Kit,
here are the freebies that I gave away for those events.

Little Sock Monkey Blog Freebie 2

Download here

Sunday, October 5, 2008

New Challenges are posted!


Please Note:
To download the file for the One Letter Challenge, you will need to register in the forum as a member, which is free to do.
You will also need to post your layouts in the specified galleries at 3Scrapateers to participate.

One Letter Challenge – October 5th to October 18th

Go here to download your letter "B" and use this letter anywhere on your layout.

Kimmi's One Letter Challenge

I have included 3 labels and 2 versions of the letter "B".
Some sayings that might help inspire you that start with the letter “B
Boys will be boys, Beautiful girl and Brand new baby.
Feel free to use the word(s) on your layout if you like but it is not required.
As usual, be sure to post your layout in the One Letter Challenge Gallery,
by Midnight EST on Saturday, October 18th
using the letter that I provided and then go back to the forum thread here
and leave a link to your layout so that we can all ooohhh and aaahhhh over it!

Color Challenge – October 5th to October 18th

Here are the colors for the challenge starting
Sunday, October 5th and ending on Saturday, October 18th

Kimmi's Color Challenge

Post your colorful layouts in the Color Challenge Gallery
by Midnight EST on Saturday, October 18th,
using at least 3 of the colors that I provided (they do not have to be exact)
and you will receive a posting gift from me.

I used these colors to create one of my latest kits, Trick or Treat – Heroes and Fairytales.
If you would like to, you can find use it for this challenge! You can find the kit here and on sale!

Trick or Treat - Heroes & Fairytales
Trick or Treat - Heroes & Fairytales

The posting bonus will be sent to you via PM (the forum private message)
so be sure to check your private messages under the User CP
at the top left of the gallery or forum in the first green bar on the screen!
You can set your private messaging to send you an instant notification email when you receive a PM!
The posting bonus will be PM’d to you on Sunday, October 19th!

October 3F - Font Frame and Fun Challenge with Debbie

Debbie, one of my very own Royal Court Gems,
has chosen one of her favorite fonts for this Halloween month
and it is called Broken Ghost. You can go here to download it.

Use the Broken Ghost font and any frame from any kit, then post your finished creation to this gallery so that we can all leave you some love! Don't forget to have fun and link back to this thread so that Debbie can send you the posting bonus
which is a quick page she made using my Trick or Treat - Ghosts & Goblins kit.

Have fun!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A Super Cute Little Sock Monkey Freebie for YOU!

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I just adore this kit and had such a blast creating it that I made extras for you! If you havent picked up this darling Little Sock Monkey Kit, then grab it now while it is on sale! Be sure to also join in my Color Challenge because the posting bonus is more goodies that coordinate with this kit! Better hurry, this challenge ends this Saturday, October 4th and
a new challenge starts on Sunday!
If you miss out on the chat freebies, then if enough of you leave me a comment asking me to post those too, I will!
Little Sock Monkey Blog Freebie

Download here
No password is needed for this freebie!